Ah, mawwiage.

I've been thinking a lot about love and relationships lately.

I'm thinking about how much of my love life has been circumstantial, and about how many of my relationships have started not from a spark but from some other pressing motive. I suppose part of me would like to get married, but it would be a lie to say I would marry someone out of love. I know ninety percent of my decision would be based on the fact that I just so happened to feel like getting married at that point in my life, and the other ten would be based on the fact that I enjoy the ritual.

I don't think we have a specific soulmate. That idea smacks of elitism and a perverse existentialism for me. I enjoy being with many different people for many different reasons. I love people for many different reasons. I am resigned to say that I would be okay having sex with someone I respected and admired, but didn't necessarily have any physical attraction towards.

I think the shit we feed each other about love is intensely interesting. I think it's interesting that we propogate and pander to this very warped bedtime story of sexual success - that we as a society define sexual success as contractual monogamy. It was a curious turn of events that led marriage to be associated with love, and quite frankly, it was a poor decision. I think many of the most successful marriages aren't based on love at all, but rather mutual respect, friendship, and a collaborative effort to expound upon survival.

I'll probably think more about this later and edit this post, but there was a need to get that out of me for now.